How Can I Annoy Sesshomaru Today?
by Liesie
Summary: As Inuyasha begins his morning, he is struck with a brilliant answer to his first question of the hour: How can I make Sesshomaru's life miserable today? Bribery, misrepresentation, and a very embarrassed Kagura ensue.


**Disclaimer: Neither the show **_**Inuyasha**_** nor its characters belong to me; I'm just borrowing them from Rumiko Takahashi for a short frolic on the random side.**

The golden sun crested the eastern horizon and bathed a small clearing in its early-morning light. The travelers dutifully greeted it with a series of stretches, yawns, and a few curse words on Inuyasha's part.

Inuyasha's first thought of the new day was _God, I hate Sesshomaru. What can I do to make his life miserable?_ He contemplated this as the others set about their daily routine: the girls leaving the campsite to bathe and Miroku following their general direction to "gather firewood", leaving Inuyasha and Shippo to their own devices. Normally, when he was presented with this predicament, Inuyasha would utilize all the time allotted to mercilessly pick on the little fox, but today he plotted instead.

What could annoy the cold prick even more than Inuyasha's possession of the Tetsusaiga? Messing with Rin would likely get his head chopped off. . . Sesshomaru didn't give a rat's ass about anything Jaken did. . . _Grrr, thinking shouldn't be this hard!_ What was he missing? Kagura had no trouble annoying the bastard, so it couldn't be that difficult. Let's see, how did she do it? Well, the only interaction between Sesshomaru and the wind witch consisted of her asking for help and him bluntly refusing, and there was no way in hell Inuyasha was going to ask for his brother's help, no matter how much it would peeve the ice prince. Besides, it couldn't be just that; a simple request to do something Sesshomaru was already going to do wouldn't leave him that angry. What else did she do to mess with his moods?

Inuyasha was reminded of Sango and the monk's frequent exchanges: grope, blush, yell, slap, sulk. Slowly he noticed the similarities between the demon slayer's brooding and that of his older brother. _And why does Sango get so sulky?_ He finally took some of Kagome's words to heart and considered the possibility that she harbored something more than friendship for the monk. The behavior _would_ be consistent with that of someone hiding a crush. . . Inuyasha gasped aloud. Sesshomaru liked Kagura! It all made sense now!

He fought the urge to cackle as a plan formed in his head. _Yes, yes. . . But Sesshomaru would skin me alive if he knew it was me. I need a scapegoat._

"Hey, Inuyasha, where's Kagome's pack?" _Shippo. Brilliant!_

"Shippo, come over here for a second."

The fox warily strode over to Inuyasha's seat next to the dying fire. "Yeah?"

"I'll give you three boxes of pocky if you do me a favor."

"I'm listening." _Muhahahaha!_

"Okay, next time you see Rin. . ."

"What do _you_ want, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha spat.

"Polite as ever, I see."

The two continued their harsh words as Shippo crept inconspicuously over to Rin's side. Jaken didn't even glance at him, being too engrossed in his lord's arguement. "You tell him, Lord Sesshomaru!"

"Hey, Rin," Shippo whispered, "can I talk to you for a second?"

Rin, always one for meeting new people, happily obliged. "Of course." She smiled as he offered her a wrapped confection. Gingerly she uncrinkled the paper, gaze filled with curiosity. "What is it?"

"It's taffy. It's _really _good. And if you do this one little thing for me, I'll give you ten more pieces of it."

"What do I have to do?"

"Oh, nothing much. . ."

Sesshomaru led his party through the woods, reflecting on his encounter with that wretched half-breed. Had the great ruler of the West not had business that required the mingling of his path with that of his brother, he would have altered his course substantially to avoid Inuyasha. Unfortunately, such a detour would have added prescious days to their travel time, and Totosai had been known to relocate to different forges frequently. Sesshomaru needed to catch the old man unawares, thus enabling the mighty demon to learn more about the capabilities of Tenseiga, and possibly beat the crap out of the swordsmith for the delivery of said blade. _Pinned to a tree. . ._ his thought trailed off into an internal growl._ And that note!_

"Mi'lord!" Jaken cried.

"What is it, Jaken?"

"If I may ask, where are we headed, mi'lord?" The toad winced as his stupidity in asking such a question and waited for his master's strike. Thankfully for Jaken, Rin piped up as well.

"Yes, where are we going, Daddy?"

Sesshomaru's face twisted into a visage of shock (or, at least, as shocked as Sesshomaru's face gets) and he abruptly ceased his stride. "Rin," he started forcefully without turning to face her, "do not call me 'Daddy'."

Rin paused a moment in thought, then responded brightly, "Okay."

Satisfied, he numbly continued his trek. That is, until a gust of wind, a burst of stench, and a feather landed in his path.

"Yo, Sesshomaru," Kagura informally greeted as she lithely hopped from the gigantic feather. "Miss me much?"

"Kagura." _This just isn't my day, is it?_ She tucked the rapidly-shrinking feather into her bun and moved forward, bringing the putrid smell even closer to Sesshomaru. Actually, _she_ wasn't the stinky one; it was just that Naraku's malodorous reek clung to her like wet hair would adhere to a shaggy rodent's skinny body. If Kagura stayed the hell away from that overgrown spider long enough, Sesshomaru wouldn't have strain so much to get a whiff of her natural scent.

He took an imperceptible drag of the air and fought through her master's pungent stench to reach the sweet undertone of mimosa Kagura's presence always carried. Mimosa in itself was quite pleasant, but there was always a slightly bitter edge somewhere beneath its soft fragrance. It occured to him that the smell needed an accompaniment, something to compliment the redolence's sweet perfume and hide the hint of bitterness lurking on the fringe of noticeability. Something coniferous. Sesshomaru had often been told as a pup by his mother that he smelled like a pine tree. . .

_ Ridiculous._ Sesshomaru thought quickly with a mental snarl. _Is this Sesshomaru, weilder of Tenseiga, son of the almighty Inu no Taisho, and ruler of the West, actually envisioning his scent mingled with that of Naraku's minion?_ Displaced anger leaked into his tone as he nearly barked, "State your business."

Somewhere during her lord's contemplation of scents, Rin had made her way to his side to wave vigorously at the wind witch. Kagura had responded with a microscopic smirk and equally-tiny wave. The eight-year-old had beamed in grilish delight. Now Rin cast her admonishing gaze Sesshomaru's way.

"Papa, that wasn't very nice. Please apologize to Mommy."

Shocked silence. Sesshomaru's eyes doubled in size, resembling his face right before he changed into a canine behemoth.

Kagura took this impromptu title far worse. Not only were her eyes bigger than his (if that was possible), but her jaw also dropped a good three inches. Were it not connected to her upper by muscle and sinew, Kagura's lower jaw would have joined her fan in the dirt. She stumbled back a step in a horrified stupor, leaving her fan laying there on the ground. He heard her pulse increase to the point it was almost a steady hum.

Suddenly, she fell to her knees grasping her chest. Sesshomaru fought the urge to move to her side, instead remaining rigidly upright with wide eyes, still in dumb shock. After a moment, she recovered her fan, removed her feather, and quickly cast over her shoulder, "Naraku calls," as she sped away.

_ Lucky witch._ Sesshomaru sternly shifted his head to his ward, barely registering that Jaken had passed out. "Rin!"

"Whew," Kagura sighed as she accelerated away from the golden-eyed god and his little girl. She thanked her lucky stars she had had enough of her wits intact to fake a summons from Naraku.

"So, did you do it?" Shippo asked Rin upon their next meeting.

"Yes, but Lord Sesshomaru got really mad. I don't wanna do that again." Rin held out her palms as Shippo transferred the sugary goodies into her outstretched hands.

"Bye!" he called as he raced toward the safety of Kagome's arms. _Inuyasha's pocky, here I come!_

**A/N: Well, that's it. Magnificent, aren't I? jk. There was quite a bit of OOCness intermittent throughout the story, but there had to be **_**some**_** out-of-character action somewhere along the line; if everyone was in character in this, it would have already happened in the anime. Oh, and I know mimosa is not indigenous to Japan, but I had already written two paragraphs describing it by the time I realized that.**


End file.
